This morning, I was reading an article about the perfect four some for golf, which lead to the idea of the perfect lunch meeting. If you could invite anyone you wanted for these events, who would you pick? For some reason, this led me to thoughts of a road trip. And if I was going to take a cruise on the open highway who would I invite along? Giving it some thought, and if I had control, maybe I could tie these three together.
Small Ball Obsession
Here’s what I came up with… we start out in the morning, drive no more than 4 hours, have lunch, play around of golf, grab a hotel for the night, play a quick 9 holes in the morning and then part company. I have done a few trips similar to this before and one of the really fascinating things about this is to watch the interaction and ‘release’ those participants on the trip experience. If you recognize going into this sort of thing that most all of us come from very busy schedules, our brains are over processed – perhaps cooked, then you know there needs to be space, patience and tough skin. And as a trip like this begins to unfold, as the pressure starts to release (often with assistance of cool adult beverage), people and personalities begin to change and this is when it gets really fun.
The really cool thing about this fantasy trip is I (or you) get to choose who comes along. My first choice would probably be President Obama, primarily because if I could get him to go along then anybody else I invite would surely show. After all, who’s going to turn down the president? Hmmm on second thought, his entourage is too big, and his friends with the dark sunglasses (read: secret service) don’t like spontaneity. OK, the pres. is out.
If we’re going to pull this off, we’re going to need to lean on charisma or perhaps a favor or two left over from the tooth fairy. Robin Williams would fit. The guy is witty as all get out, gut bustin’ funny and did you see his live show at Madison Square Gardens? It’s out on DVD, and definitely worth the purchase. Oh wait, he’s down in a Florida hospital doing the recovery thing, and he doesn’t play golf. What about Jim Carrey? Does the ‘Bruce Almighty’ play golf? Wait, I just realized his initials are JC. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? JC, Jesus Christ? Naw, can’t be, has to be pure coincidence. Has anyone seen him swing a one iron?
What about Jack? Not Jack Nicklaus, the other Jack. Jack Nicholson is our man. Jack loves the game, hugely funny and I’ve read he’s a solid plus 8 handicap. OK, if we go with Jack who else comes along? Suddenly I’ve got the feeling there needs to be a woman. No, not for me, but for Jack. On second thought, this isn’t going to work. My wife, Moore Ticious will tolerate it but this changes everything, creates a whole different dynamic. If I was going to bring a woman it would be Celine. She’s beautiful, I’m a huge fan of her voice, and she’s a 12 handicap out in Las Vegas. All right, let’s keep it simple we’ll call Happy Gilmore. Adam Sandler would be perfect. You needn’t worry about being shown up on the course. He does hit a long ball and is tear jerking funny on the tee box, but can the guy putt? Yep, baseball season is right around the corner (he’s a huge Mets fan), we would laugh our asses off. Alright, who’s taking third seat? How about Charles Barkley? Tiger Woods once said that Barkey’s swing looks like a seizure, but I doubt it can be any worse than Happy’s slap stick tee shot or my natural lefty slice. Hey, there won’t be any PGA tour officials at this gig, I say he’s in. Besides, one day I saw Charles cruising down I95 in Miami in a jet black Bentley. He looked pretty comfortable behind the wheel of that machine. I think he would be perfect as our Double D. OK Charley is in, but he’s gotta bring the ride.
We’re running out of space here, I’ve got to get one more to go and we’ve still got to talk about where we’re going. OK, what about you? Are you in? Just drop me a message in reply to this blog. I haven’t set the date yet. Maybe if we film this as a charity event we can sell the DVD’s on EBay and I can get these guys to show.
Now on to the venue, I remember once hearing about an annual golf event, I think in West Virginia. It’s a competition outing where you play with old hickory shafted clubs and low tech. golf balls. Some guys get right into it with the Scottish Knickers and argyle socks presentation. Hmmm, let’s see what I find on Know2Go.
Darn it, there’s nothing on it in our database. Google has lots of entries for traditional championships and old hickory stick golf courses but not what I’m looking for. I remember reading about this in one of the golf monthly’s. If you come across it, please do me a favor and drop me a line. Send it in a reply to this write-up or email to email@example.com.
Ok without this option, what about the Greenbrier? I recently heard the place was up for-sale, it’s rich in history and offers three fantastic course layouts. The par five’s are not that long which is good for Charles and the reachable par three’s would be perfect for Sandler’s long irons. The 1979 Ryder Cup and the ladies 1994 Solheim Cup were both held there. The Five Star Resort in White Sulfur Springs, Virginia would provide appropriate accommodations, and impeccable fine dinning. Nearby Washington Dulles airport offers easy access for the first class traveler or golfer with private airplane and the Blue Ridge Mountains would make a scenic drive (keeping within our 4 hour limit) for one with Black Bentley. Did I mention that Charles doesn’t like to fly? Yup, he’s a full fledged phobic. Not afraid-but willing passenger like Isadora Wing, he’s more like John Madden. He ain’t going to the friendly skies.
Ok, we’re all set then. I’ll call and make the arrangements. What’s your schedule look like in May?